


Dinosaur and the Pig

by peechykeen



Category: Barney & Friends, The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Crack, Crack Crossover, F/M, Not Serious, Riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:28:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22899526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peechykeen/pseuds/peechykeen
Summary: Don't take this serious at all.
Relationships: Barney/Miss Piggy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Dinosaur and the Pig

**Author's Note:**

> Merry very belated Christmas. This is a gift for my friend Taco ;) love you girl <3

"I love you. You love me. Let's get together and fuck." The big hefty purple dinosaur, Barney, muttered into Miss Piggy's swine ear.

"Are you sure you can handle me?" Miss Piggy whispered back, however she didn't say it into his ears because I'm pretty sure Barney has no ears.

"Yessss~" His usually annoying, unsettling voice was soft like silk as he drew out the s longer than necessary. Miss Piggy shoved his big purple ass onto the bed.

"Let me taste first." She demanded as she unzipped his pants....wait. Barney had no pants.

His dinocock was already out on display. It looked to be about ten inches erect, probably seven or eight when flaccid. The shaft was a few shades lighter than the rest of his body while the tip was a deep dark purple.

Being the pig she is, Miss Piggy dove down and got to work on slobbering all over his massive dinodong. Seeing as that wasn't doing much for Barney, she went to sucking on his testicles.

"They're like plums." They really were.

Big massive round as fuck plums that were tight against each other, a sign of how hard he was. 

Anyway.

As she lapped and sucked, spit dripping down her pale chin, Barney was a moaning mess above her. 

"You like this don't you? You big gross boy..." She then used her h-human(?) hands to grip his balls super tight. Tight enough to possibly stop this dinosaur from EVER having fucking kids. 

He fucking screamed. Can you imagine, can you FATHOM, Barney the fucking big irritating ass purple dinosaur screaming. 

Imagine his voice in your head. Now imagine him getting his balls gripped so fucking tight he screams out in pleasure.

Miss Piggy was thrown off for a second. She thought he came. She gripped his balls hard enough she probably could've forced semen out of him but alas there was no cum.

It was just precum, hastily leaking from his deepening cockhead. Somehow upon grabbing him a bit spurted out and landed in her messy ass blond locks. 

"Great." Miss Piggy shuddered.

Barney didn't say a word. He just watched as Missy Piggy moved to straddle him. She began teasing him, rubbing the crease of her piggy ass against his dinodick. 

"Piggy." He gasped. She stared down at him, face painted with anger. Perhaps it was the inner dominatrix in her, or maybe she was just angry at the fact that cum got in her wig...nah her hair was real. ;)

"You ready baby?" She asked, expression not quite as angry as before but still rather agitated. Barney nodded. 

"Good." She mumbled, lifting herself above his dick. Miss Piggy wasn't afraid. She could take any length, any time, any day so she slammed down on his purple member with practiced ease. Barney nearly choked to death on the drool gathering in his dinomouth. He made a few concerning gurgling noises but Miss Piggy didn't give a damn, she kept ridin' him like one of those bull machines they have at bars. 

"Oh fuck yeah!" She clenched her swine walls around his cock, heightening her own pleasure. Suddenly Barney snaked his short trex arms onto her hips as if trying to help her move more. She smacked them away, because she is an independent ass woman. 

Miss Piggy kept going and going until she heard the dinosaur make a very telling sound. He thrusted up into her and released his goo. Miss Piggy was too disgusted to even continue pleasuring herself so she got off him and stood up. 

She felt the jizz leak from her piggy pussy. She swiped a finger up her leg and brought it into view. It was p-purple...hahaha why was it purple!??????????

Nevermind that though. She needed her money and a plan b or something. She didnt want dinopig hybrid babies. 

"Where's your wallet?" She asked the half awake Dinosaur, he was starting to fade away cause like didn't he fade away at the end of the show?

"There." He weakly pointed to the bedside table. Miss Piggy sauntered over to it and simply grabbed the thick wallet and deposited into her purse. He was disappearing to his dinosaur world what use was this money to him??? 

And with that and a swift adjustment of her clothing and a snatch of her wig, Miss Piggy left, not a care in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I like barely write smut?


End file.
